the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
