i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
