I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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