Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
