if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
