i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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