I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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