I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
try to milk me bitch
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