You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
