He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just threw up on my dentist
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
