I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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