i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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