the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
