Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
