Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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