everyone is single if you try hard enough
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
ttyl tear gas
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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