whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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