We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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