whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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