I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
