eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
