He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
