sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
