I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
