Jerry, you need to find god
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
