I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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