think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
