Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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