We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
