Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize