He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Bring me that man meat
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
