I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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