She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
