i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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