Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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