GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
