Kiss
Puke
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
