i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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