ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
