Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
