Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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