I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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