Banned from zoo.
Again?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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