Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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