I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
