she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
