what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
