Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
