capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
