Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
