She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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